I am a ‘picker’ not the type that picks fruits or pick things from the ground but the one that picks at a wound. I am guilty, I delay my healing process, I disturb the healing, I interfere with nature because I can’t tolerate the bumpiness that healing entails, I don’t like the peel on the wound, so I pick at it and I remove the hard layer of sanity that protects the would. When I run my finger all over it and I feel any roughness or bump, I feel it is my duty to smooth things out. I need that artificial satisfying feeling that all is smooth and levelled out, so I start the disruptive habit of picking at it and then I wonder why the wound is taking forever to heal. For my sins, I am an orderly and tidy person, I am restless when there is choas, I am not one of those that thrive on choas, I don’t leave a room if there are things on the floor, I must pick it up and put it in it’s place, even if it is not my room, I still must pick it up. It takes a huge amount of self restraint to walk out of my daughter’s room and let lying dogs lie, it’s not just natural. The interfering meddling hand is always at work.
I can’t stand the look or the feel of scab, that dry rough protective crust is me nemesis and he must be pulled down! How wrong I am, when I make the friend the foe, when I consider the protector to be the antagonist. It is not that I don’t know or that I don’t understand but I move to the lower realm of sense and try to satisfy my temporal discomfort. Relationships and life in general is similar, when the wound in relationship is healing there is that dry crust forming that we can’t penetrate, a protective layer and in our eagerness to smooth things over, we break the barrier, pick at the crust and expose the raw wound, now it is weeping, red and angry and we wonder what we have done. What we’ve done is simple, meddle, busy body restless hands. Some relationships, some situations need time and space to heal and during that time, things will have scab, will look rough, hard, difficult with an impenetrable crust but we must believe in the healing hand of nature and believe that under that ugliness, beautiful healing is taking place, unless we can contribute to the healing process, and most times we can’t, we must put our hands right in our pockets and resist the unhealthy urge to meddle.
Just don’t pick, mind your business and allow healing to be completed.
Beautiful Ivory 