The Band of Relationship

… healthy relationships are conducted within the comfort and safety of a band. Rarely will it stretch outside this band and if it does it will be ever so little and infrequent such that the stretch will be easily forgiven and forgotten and will in all honesty settle back into the healthy respect zone.

Unhealthy relationship stretches out to undesirable zones, it starts life in the comfort zone of respect and cordiality, before stretching out to contempt, disrespect, disdain and all manner of unpleasantness. It attempts to spring back to the zone of respectability, but usually the damage has been done and the elasticity of the relationship has been affected, it has become slack and lost it’s firmness. It has the title of what it used to be but now lost shape, like a girdle task with the duty of keeping it all sucked in and firmed up but now everything hangs out and down in its shapeless form. I guess we have all been there with various items of clothing and accessories. Once the elasticity is gone, it is really gone, it holds nothing together, can never be back to where it was and might just be time to rid ourselves of the burden of such item. Relationships are like that, whether it be lovers, friends, families, colleagues etc once stretched out to a certain level can never be the same. It could be one incident, but if the stretch was so taut and held in tension for a length of time, the damage is done! People say forgive and forget, of course we forgive, but how do you forget when the elasticity is gone, for once it is gone, it is gone. Similar to virginity, once it is gone, it is gone. Some people treat us with disrespect, contempt and disdain, they now come back all sweet and lovely, failing to realise that the veil has been lifted, the face has already been seen, putting the veil back on can no longer conceal what has already been revealed. It is better never to go to some places, never to do some things, the damage has been done, it can not be undone.

Atimes individuals in relationship are like earthquake zones, unknown to some peoples, these are zones ridden with ‘faults’ that can erupt with stress or other factors. On a normal day all is calm and peaceful and gbam! without any obvious provocation, there is an almighty eruption with its ensuing destruction and disruption and when it is all over, there is calm again. The unlearned with consider that it is all over, they will forgive and forget as is popularly torted. However Seismologists know to designate an area earthquake zone and give adequate warnings with the hope that necessary precautions are taken. If a person fears and abhors earthquake then with such knowledge they can avoid those zones. Others might choose to stay but understanding the risk. But staying in an earthquake zone and assuming that because all is calm now all will remain calm is foolhardy. The same applies to a relationship. To live in the fool’s paradise with an earthquake zone prone person and assume there will be no further eruption based on the current sweetness displayed is disillusionary. We must not forget the fault under the surface. We can still build our house in the zone, if we choose, but we will do well to have earthquake insurance in place. They are nice, kind, sweet and generous is not sufficient, there is a fault, they are earthquake zone and can erupt at any time. If you want to stay and forgive, that is a choice, but to forget is foolhardy, the elasticity is affected, the girdle can no longer hold the shape, you can no longer rely on it for the lift. Remember earthquake lowers the earth’s available elastic potential energy and raises its temperature. Turbulent people are unreliable in relationship, they lower the elasticity of the relationship, stretches the band beyond its optimal level and raises the temperature.

Chose where you build your house, it is entirely your choice. Earthquake zone are prone to eruptions, it is all in the fault. The band can loose elasticity.

Lift your soul not lower it! Stay in shape!