“…. Hey Uncle Ben! I came to your house the other day, but you wouldn’t in” I shouted as I ran into my Uncle. “Yes, when I am not at home, people don’t find me in!” said my uncle. Now, I am like what exactly is he saying? Is he trying to be smart, witty or what? His response made no sense, so I just left him to his devices. Uncle Ben is a very social being, loves going out, meeting people, he is a good conversationalist, and always has great stories and jokes. He can be a bit restless and difficult to find him at home, even when you have made a solid appointment and you call him to remind him, he is just hardly ever in.

Sadly Uncle Ben became unwell and it was Doctor’s recommendations that he stays at home and rest himself. This was really hard for Uncle Ben, he was not the homely type, so despite his frail and weak state, he will still drag himself out, to his own detriment. I remember going to see another of my Uncle (Chris) who was lamenting his frustration with Ben, he couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t just stay at home, especially given his frail state. Uncle Chris was the homely type, I didn’t even tell him I was coming, but he was there at home. He told me he hardly goes anywhere unnecessary, he minds his business, shuts his door and enjoys himself within the confines of his home, going out as and when necessary.

In my experience people fall somewhere between my two extreme Uncles, they are either forever in or forever out or just somewhere along the line of homeliness or always out.

In a sense, in talking to people, I find the same principle applies. I have virtually given up talking to some people, because why they are physically present with you, they are never there! The house is empty! You talk and talk and sometimes they respond but it is empty! I know someone who is notorious for day dreaming, the moment you open your mouth, to have a decent conversation with her, she is gone!, try as much as you can, she is not in, she is no longer at home and just like my Uncle Ben, when she is not at home, she sure is not in. I have called some people in the past, and we have had an hour or so conversation. Then I put the phone down, and I wonder, why did I bother, there was no one at home! Some people are hardly ever at home, you can’t get through or connect to them. They are always somewhere else when they are with you.

At the same time, there are some very present people, who are very much with you. They are homely, your true homies, talking to them is always a delight, they listen, they participate, they engage, you feel connected. Always a beautiful time of fellowship. However, even homies go out some time, and in those times we can’t connect with them, they are not with us.

It is frustrating, when we get to people’s house, office or whenever the place of meeting is meant to be, especially after a concrete appointment and they are not in. It is not uncommon for some people to bang the door endlessly, press the bell mercilessly, walk around the house, sit in the porch for only God knows how long etc. Literally do some crazy stuff, other people just accept the situation and quietly walk away.

The same should apply when conversing with people, if they are not in, they best we can do is just let them be, regardless of whether they protest or not. Some have jumped from topic to topic, talk endlessly, tried convincing, persuading, hoping eventually the light will come on, someone will open the door and let us in, but these rarely happens, we just end up more frustrated and empty. We are better off letting people be and hopefully when they get back home, they will get in touch. There choice really.

Even the homies go out sometimes and when they are not home, you wouldn’t meet they in. So just move on!

… I can not help but consider that submission is one of the most expensive thing that a person can give to another. All men (meaning male and female) are equal. That is the way we are created, contrary to the false notion held by some that the presense or absence of excessive melanin makes one race more superior than another. All men are equal, and the presence or absence of a male or female genital does not change this fact. Male, female, He made them equal as human being. Equality is the natural state, the created order, it does not mean that people are the same, have the same strength or weaknesses, it does not mean we all have the same material wealth or intellectual capacity, it does not mean we have the same advancement, exposure, forward thinking or ability. It simply means we are all human being and no human being is more of a human being than another, in the same manner that no animal is more animal than another. The essential ingredient that makes one person a human being is present in all equally and this is where the equality stems from. Without doubt some human beings are more gifted than others in some areas or other but it does not lift or elevate their level of human ‘beingness’. It just makes them an equal human being with a few extra bells and whistles. A car is a car, some are luxury cars other are economic cars, while others are somewhere in between. Cars do not become Aeroplanes because of the extra features. In the same manner that humans do not become super human because of less melanin or more testosterone or any other noted reason.

Having established this fact, it is important that each person fully understands and comprehends who they are in relation to another and think not more highly or more lowly of themselves than they ought. This is easier said than done, especially where culture, tradition, religion, compromised history, teachings etc have beaten it into some people that they are either more or less than what they actually are and sadly have come to believe this. We are human and we are equal and that settles the score.

For the orderly running of society and for some other self induced and unsavoury reasons, the issue of submission and that of superiority are introduced and rammed down the throats of the unsuspecting and the naive. To put oneself under to be ordered around is contrary to the natural self asserting manner we are created and born as. Every human is created to be and fully express himself, a lesson that all parents, all husbands, all wives, all employers, all employees, all red necked racist, all inferior minded coloured person, caste preferring, wealthy, aristocate, religious ministers etc ought to know, but the ignorant will not avail himself of knowledge. Irrespective of our individual journey, our ancestral’s journey, our teachings, our beliefs, no man or woman is designed to be submissive!

As fully functioning adults, submission must be a choice, it is also a gift. It is something contrary to who we are and how we are, but we choose to render it. This must not be given nilly willy, without thought or consciousness, this must not be given to any fool or idiot that turns up and demand it, irrespective of the title they bear. Each person is the bearer of the gift and the determinant of who to render it to and let each person purpose in his heart who or where to caste the gift. No man has the right to beat us into submission, this is simply human abuse and abuse stems from a place of weakness, a place of ignorance, a place where we are flawed.

Treasure you gift! Do not caste it before swines! If you are the recipient, be mindful, it is a gift, not an entitlement, loose the sense of deprivation.

… for as long, as he knew, he had always wanted to travel abroad, to the United States to be precise. Everything United States had an appeal to him. His bedroom walls are full of posters of all his American Idols, Celebrities, female crushes, sports personalities, Hollywood royalties, name it, he knew them all. He followed the US politics and was forever glued to CNN. He is even an ardent supporter of the New York Yankees. His love for everything America was unwavering. He had been dreaming, planning and saving every last penny to visit and when he had enough money he could not wait. He gathered all his documents together, and applied for a Visa. As far as he was concerned the Visa interview went well, the Immigration officer was even pleasant and they had a bit of a banter. But to his uttermost surprise, when he received his passport back, he was refused a Visa! Shock did not begin to explain his reaction. His was truly confused, ran over the whole process in his head, he could not see what he had said or done wrong. Not one to be easily deterred, he waited the required period and applied again and he was refuse again! No substantial reason was given for the refusal, so he kept applying and kept being refuse. He applied a total of five times without any success. He decided to appeal his refusals and take it to the highest office for consideration. The refusal was upheld and not overturn, the decision was still a ‘No’ you are not allowed entry! He was devasted beyond words, for quite a long time he was uconsolable, his dream and hope of travelling to the USA, he had carried from a young age had been dashed for reasons he had no way of knowing.

One day he woke up, sat on the edge of his bed, with his bent head in his hands. Slowly he lifted up his head and looked at every poster in his room. He walked to each one of them and paid his homage for the last time. With the purposefulness of a decisive man, he removed every single poster and folded them neatly, gathered all his magazines, books etc about travelling to America, and put them in a box and got rid of everything. He came back home and reasoned that he is not a citizen of the United States and as he has been refused entry there is nothing he can do about that. However he is not a man without citizenship, he is a citizen of his own country where he is fully appreciated, welcome and accepted. He reprogrammed his mind and focused his attention on getting to know, appreciate and support his own and he lived happily ever after.

There was this young lady that moved from up North to the South for employment reasons. The company was heavily recruiting and had a number of new recruits from different part of the country , so she was not the only new recruit but the only one from up north. Every one was new, every one was trying to find their foot. She was keen to make friends given that none of her family or friends from back home was around. So she reached out to a number of people, tried to do small talks, invited them for coffee, to the pub etc, basically did all she knew to do to show herself friendly and interested, but she noticed that all her efforts were not rewarded, no matter how hard she tried. She went home, reflected on the situation, decided to up her antics and make more effort, but the harder she tried, the more rejections she got. Meanwhile she noticed that little friendship groups were forming especially amongst those from the same place and she was left out. She was deeply hurt and despondent. She love her job and was doing extremely well at work, her bosses were very please with her. Whilst she very much wanted to make friends amongst her colleagues, she quickly realised it was not happening for her. She decided to brace up, face her job squarely and found other avenues for friendship, she reconnected with other friends back home via social media, she joined the gym, local interest groups, volunteer to mentor young people and to assist elderly people in the community. Before she knew it her life and social diary was so full, she had no time to notice and lament the lack of comradeship at work.

Sometimes in life we long so badly to be part of certain things going on physically around us or even far from us. We pay are dues, extend the right hand of fellowship, do all we know to do, but for reasons best known to them and clearly unknown to us, we are just not given the right of inclusion. And when this happens, there is only one thing left to do, to dust off the dirt from our feet and move on, in the best possible way we know.

In International law, it is illegal to make anyone stateless or without citizenship, and while there is a small group of people without any citizenship most people have their citizenship, a place or country they can call home. The drive is to end statelessness for all. This concept can be applied to each individual seeking acceptance and the right of inclusion. Whilst our immediate interest group might not give us the right of inclusion, as individuals we are not ‘stateless’, tribeless or without citizenship, it is matter of understanding that our tribe does exist and finding our tribe or our country. When we find our country the right of inclusion is automatic until then we are strangers or and pilgrims in another man’s land or seeking entry and treated as such, we can be refuse Visa, right of inclusion. There is no need to force our way through closed door or be sad about it, definitely not where human beings are concerned. Not for a group of men, whose breath is in their nostrils.

The right of inclusion is not to be forced! Know your citizenship! Find your tribe!

… not too long after I returned to the UK, this was in my late teenage years, I was working in a small company, not too many of us, everyone knew each other. It came to my knowledge that one of my colleagues had financial difficulties. Without thinking much, I offered him a little something I had, I was so innocent, so culturally and racially unaware. His reaction to what I considered a kind gesture blew me away, he went into one! Demanding to know why I felt it was appropriate to offer him money, me of all people, him of all people. It was my money and why would I want to give it to him, he was physically very annoyed and it was clear he felt insulted, very insulted indeed, on my part I was very confused, I felt really bad, wrong and small. I was shocked to my core, unable to find any words to describe that I meant no offence was just trying to be kind. The incident jaded me and since then I usually have to think twice before reaching out. Many years down the line, I could look back at this situation objectively and understand that here was someone in need, but his pride and sense of superiority made it impossible to receive the assistance required.

On a different but not totally disimilar note, I have since encountered a number of situation where people are in need, but their behaviour made it difficult for people to reach out and help them. I was once talking to a senior nurse and she told me how some very sick patient make it difficult for the medical staff to care for them and some of them sadly end up passing on. These people are so ill, can hardly do anything for themselves, but yet will insist that their care must be on their terms and their terms alone. In their sick state, still insist on bossing everyone around, oblivious of their unhelpful behaviour and unprepared to change, people end up leaving them to their devices. It is nothing short of painful, watching them struggle but unable to help. They bark and bite every time you move close to an inch of offering assistance. All you can do is stand back and watch them deteriorate from a distance.

Some people lament their loneliness and cry out for company, but their energy is uncondusive, every time we encounter them, they are caustic and bile, all they do is complain, moan and groan, such unpleasant people to be around, yet they are very lonely. We long to reach out, but incredibly grating they are and for our own self preservation we must keep a distance, very very painful to watch.

Some times we see people, going blindly down the wrong path, making or about to make mistakes we have already made, and we offer them the benefit of our experience, trying to warn that what lies in front is a ditch, but all advice is shun and they prefer to make their on own mistake and learn their own lesson, again a very difficult car crash to watch.

We try to be their for some people, be it friend, family or acquaintance going through difficult times, we want to be a pillar for them to lean on, but we find out we are treated as the punching bag, made responsible for all their ills. Our good intentions and efforts seem to be doing nothing for them or ourselves but creating more pain for all. I once had a friend going through a rough patch and I resolve to be there for her. So I would call and visit regularly. But almost without fail, after each call or visit, I leave with a spliting headache, totally distabilised. I tried to rationalise that it is a temporary situation and I must be strong and endure, but it got to a stage I could take no more and had to take my leave.

I know some other people when they are in need unlike my colleague above they actually feel it is our responsibility to sort every single need they have. Their sense of entitlement is suffocating, whatever you give is never sufficient. They are like bottomless pit of needs, like a gaping hole that is ready to swallow you up whole. They are never satisfied, never contended, forever asking, forever demanding, forever insinuating. We give and give, but it is never enough, they are like leeches, sucking dry and choking life out of anyone that comes in contact. Sadly some of these people are close to us, they are friends, family, possibly very close family, church members, fraternity buddies etc.

All these people have needs, huge needs, we can see it clearly, and to anyone that has an ounce of sympathy or is empathetic, it is heart wrenching to observe, they have needs yet we are unable to bail them out. Our kindness is either frowned upon or taken for granted, either way we can’t win with them. Kindness, they say will not kill but gives a lot of worry. We walk away from the prison some of these people are in, unable to bail them out, with the heaviest of heart.

‘No’ is one of the hardest word to say, but yet sometimes that is what must be said! Grown up decisions have to be made. Frail, but without bail we leave them, but with a heavy heart though.

… according to Doctors only 35% of adults have 20/20 sight without corrective measures such as glasses, surgery etc. And only 75% have it with the corrective measures. Given that not everyone one has access to or takes advantage of corrective measures, it is possible that at least 50% of adults are going around with imperfect vision and getting on with their business. Maybe a few will bump into one thing or another every now and then, but life generally continues. It is also possible that those with perfect visions will bump into a few things every now and then for other reasons aside from them vision such as distractions, tiredness etc.

We see what we see and what we don’t see, we don’t see. What we see is our world, our perception is our reality and we operate from that basis.

Physical sight is akin to our outlook, vision or understanding of issues. Few people if any has 20/20 clarity on issues, few people, if any have perfect understanding of a subject matter. Hardly anyone has all the knowledge and understanding of a business idea. Yet this imperfections is what stops some from making progress. They need to understand it fully before commencing. Perfection must be in place before the project begins. Progress is halted because it just came to light that all that is required to be known is not known. If hiring companies are to wait to recruit until they find the candidates that meet every single requirement on the person specification they will never run any business. He that waits for perfect conditions will never get anything done.

Progress is required for our happiness and well being and we must not allow imperfect vision to stop us. If we have the means and opportunities to put in place corrective measures where vision is lacking or compromised then we must most definitely do so. But where this is not the case, progress can still be made without perfect vision. The fact remains that now we know in part, we understand in part, we must operate with what we have not we don’t have. We all know people, who forever talk about what they don’t have as the reason for not doing anything.

Most blind people are not totally blind, in the same manner that most cloudy vision are not totally unusable, we can still make a start, be it tentatively. Some argue that “we are to write the vision, make it plain, that he that reads it may run” and I agree. But at the same time we can only write what we see, we draw what we see, we say what we know and that is as plain as we can make it. And then it is time to run not to wander about what we can’t see.

Why we continue to strive to improve our vision, imperfect sight must not be a hindrance to our progress for the world is as clear as we see it and run we must run, until it is time for us to go. A number of animals have terrible eyesight, such as rhinoceros, bats, bulls, deep sea fish and moles, but still get on with the job of surviving.

Yes, we can not see clearly, yes the thought is not well thought through, yes, the idea is not well clarified, yes, the vision is not well polished. Yes, it is imperfect! Imperfect will not cease until perfect is brought in. Perfect belongs to another world, glimpse of it we might sight on this side of eternity.

Let’s go!

… no other way round it, it must be programmed! You want your dog to sit, dance, somersault and do God knows what, you have to train it to do so. Some will take to the training, some will not, of those that will, some will do it quicker than others. Most things operate in similar version, our computers do what it does because someone at some time programmed it to do so. The same applies to our smartphones, cameras, vacumm cleaner, blender etc. We press a button and it happens and we don’t give much taught to how things come to operate the way they do, they just do. We jump into a car, press a button and it zooms. It takes just a few seconds to press the button that brings about the desired action, but the real truth is that it probably took days, months, years, failure upon failures, trials upon trials, frustrations upon frustrations, a lot of stop start headaches to get that amazing stop start function in our cars.

Imagine if we just hurriedly put together some iron, steel, plastic in the shape of a car, stick a button on it and expect it to drive like car, nothing happens and we get very frustrated and despondent. Or imagine waking up one morning, without any training, we start screaming ‘sit’ at our dog, the dog stares at us like we are loosing our marbles and strolls away. Now, most rational being will nor behave in this manner, but yet we do. We decide that we want to do a certain thing, become a certain person. We make New Year’s resolutions, we decide we want to turn over a new leaf and off we go. We want to loose weight, be healthy. So off to our local gym, we go register, set up the direct debit, emptied out the local fitness shop with the required gear, did the same to our fridge and cupboard, got rid of all the healthy food and stock pile the whole house with healthy food. Now no one can argue with the will or the intention. But come two month’s time, we have only been to the gym once and that was the day we carried out the registration, also all the fruits and veg have rot, our cupboard seems confused, all our healthy choices still there but so also are the unhealthy choices that have somehow made their way back into our lifes. We are now very frustrated and despondent. We can’t understand why we just can’t seem to do the good we set out to do, why we are not who we want to be. We don’t know why the car is not moving or the dog not sitting. The answer is actually a lot simpler than we realise.

We have not been program to do those things we are trying to do or to be! And in some instances we have not remove or replace the existing program and we wonder why we keep going back to our bad habits. At the end of the day we are just a living computer programmed to behave in certain manners, and if we want different behaviour we have to instal a different program and that means someone has to create or write the program. Someone said to me, “but I never programmed myself to eat unhealthy food, I just find myself doing it, craving it” the honest truth is we are programned to behave in that manner, to make those choices, we might not have done it ourselves but some one or some situations or circumstances did. The TV ads, billboards, supermarket displays, family and colleagues eating habits, experiences, choices etc are all progamming us.

I have had small dabble in programming and I have also had the privilege to observe people training to be programmers. It is no kid’s play. It requires hours and hours of study. Concentrated effort to get the program right. And depending on what needs doing, there could be hundreds and thousands of lines of codes that needs to be put together, and heaven helps if there is a bug in the system, then the whole thing needs to be checked and redone, otherwise the program will not run. Any glitch will hinder or restrict the performance, the same applies to us as human beings.

The first step, in changing and becoming who we want to become is in our mind. We have to program the computer, called the mind. This is easier said than done. It takes time, consistency, persistence, trial and retrial, stop/start, stop/start etc. We need to read, research, learn, observe, put right before our eyes continually that which we desire to become. We need to be testing, debugging, maintaining, implementing. We need also to be patient, very patient indeed, change takes time, and depending on who we are and where we are, it could be a very long time, but if we are not weary in well doing, sooner or later, we will partake of the labour of our hands. The dog will sit but we have to train it.

Automation is the name of the game, programming is the process. Set it in motion, sit happens!

… I love markets! The energy is incomparable. You see people at their raw state. The hawkers crying out their wares, the fruit must not rot, all must go before the end of the day. The economics of the market is different from that of the boardroom. Textbook theories does not work in the market. You don’t learn about the market in the classroom, you walk the street, you live and sleep the market, imbibing the energy and learning the ropes. When I enter a new city I want to check out the vibe of the market, I learn more there than in the stuffy and pretentious departmental stores. In the market you see man at his best and at his weakest, you see spontaneity play out, the rawness of emotion. All these is well hidden, packaged and presented in appealing form in stores.

One of the things I enjoy most is the cry of the fruit seller, it is the craftman’s signature with its own unique rhythm and rhyme, hollering that his is the best, the sweetest and juicest, his neighbour to the right is doing exactly the same, crying that his is the best, and so is the neighbour to the left and every other fruit seller in the market. The buyer definitely has his job cut out, trying to figure who truly has the best, the sweetest and juiciest fruit! Every seller is shouting out in the same manner. Which one of them is telling the truth? Could it be just one, some, all or none? Have they all tasted all their fruits? Do they truly know? Or are they all as clueless as the unsuspecting buyers? Is it just market noise, street cries and survival tactics? Is it possible that the taste of the pudding is only in the eating? There are so many fruits, so many fruit sellers and so many cries, how can we possibly taste every fruit to know which is which? There are also varying taste buds and taste interpretations. The taste information is not in the cry! The cry is just attention grabbing, crowd pulling.

Truth sometimes can be like this. There are loads of ‘fruit sellers’ claiming they have the truth. Theirs is the best, the real truth, the only truth, but how do we know? Do we try out every claim of truth? Or do we settle with the first one we encounter? Or do we go with the loudest one, the one with the largest followers, the oldest one, the more convincing one, etc? Do we find the answer we seek in the ‘cry’ in the same manner we try to figure out the taste of the fruit from the claim of the fruit seller or must we take a bite first?

The truth is not always in the ‘cry’ or in the ‘claim’. The truth must be found in a deeper place. As we can not dig our teeth into every single fruit, we need a way to find out if the ‘fruit’ is truly sweet and juicy, sadly the cry of the fruit seller is not a reliable witness. We must block out the noise, the market noise and listen for the fruit sound, apply our other senses, sense of touch, smell, taste, intuition, perception, experience etc. We must attend to our experience of the encounter.

A lot can be said on this issue, but brevity demands that we lay it to rest. The summary of the matter is that we listen in our soul and reach a place of assurance, understanding that truth rest not in the cry.

Every man will proclaim his own goodness, his own righteousness, but a faithful man who can find?

The time to listen in a different way and to a different sound is upon us.

… my little one has a number of pencil cases full of different writing stuff. I hope she has not inherited my hoarding tendency. But don’t panic! We don’t have to get the cameras in just yet. Things are still under control. But seriously we have all sort. One case is just packed full of erasers, I am beginning to think we might need to start a small eraser selling business. I never knew erasers come in all shape and form. Some are heart shaped, pretty and pink, some very colourful like a rainbow, some smell like bubble gum, others shaped like a koala with removable head and tail, some look like something you would put in your mouth, some sparkle, some light up, some are just simply plain, all kinds basically.

Recently I have just been reacquainted with an old love of mine, Sudoku! I use to love Sudoku, but life took over and there was no time for such luxuries, but in recent times I have come to respect that life is for living and doing some of those things you truly love. So I found my way back to Sudoku. Times have truly moved on, and now there are Sudoku Apps and you can do Sudoku on your phone, tablet, computer etc and I tried all of these. But I will like to submit, that nothing beats paper Sudoku, call me old fashion if you will. The real taste of this pasttime to me, is sweating it out with your tired, folded around the edges puzzle book. Any Sudoku lover, worthy of the title knows the two tools you must not be without, a good pencil and a decent eraser. You can actually get away with an average grade pencil, but you must not compromise on the eraser other wise you are are letting yourself in for a frustrating, brain torturing session. All evidence of indiscretion must be erased away to present a smart finish.

The thing with Sudoku is that unless you are a genius, which most of us mere mortal are not, it is a case of probability for most of the boxes. So you are in the ‘it could be a 6, or an 8, maybe even a 9, well a 2 could even go there’ frame of mind as you approach the boxes and you have to squeeze all those probable numbers in the tiny boxes. Now you see why you need a good pencil. But if you ever have any intention of finishing the puzzle you have to go through the arduous task of working out all the wrong probable numbers and rubbing them off and this is where a good eraser comes into its own.

I tried borrowing some of the fanciful erasers from my little one, but they were absolutely useless. All they did was look pretty, smell pretty, taste pretty, light up and do all kind of silly things but when it came to do the real job of erasing they could hardly get rid of anything, they were no where to be found, seriously lacking.

In his pencil case, he had also inherited a couple of my good old erasers. The boring type, plain white/off white rectangular ones, it does not look pretty, does not claim to be anything but an eraser. It has also be ‘around the block’, travelled the world, it has experience on it’s side. It does what it says on the tin, it erases! There is also the bad boy of erasers, the 2 sided tipped edges one, one side is blue, the other side is reddish brown, once it hits the paper, there is no sign of any indiscretion, flaw, error or probability, it is all gone! These are the top guns required to make Sudoku a smooth experience, not any of the flimsy sissy erasers.

These erasers have been there, seen it and done it, they have experience on their side. Some ‘bad boys’ of erasers will even life pen writing without damaging the paper! In life this is what we need, people that come into our life like the ‘bad boy’ of erasers. Not ‘bad’ in the negative destructive sense, but people that help get the job done, they have experience, they are not necessarily all singing, all dancing like the kaola removable head eraser but they are Kosher, like the blue and reddish brown erasers they bring stability and maturity to our lifes. They help erase trauma and confusion, they use the experience of their journey to bring peace and harmony to our life, to erase unsuitable probabilities.

The eraser we need might be tired around the edges, done the journey of life, but it is the one that can erase the pain. Choose wisely!

… I am in a country where swag is the currency of exchange. I am low on this currency, yours truly just wants to get on and do what needs to be done. But this is not how business is transacted here. Sway is the order of the day, you need a slightly enlarged slow sway to your appearance , you also need to be able to wear that ‘don’t you know I am important ‘ look without looking like am imposer. You have to huff and puff without breaking sweat, to not look like you are huffing and puffing. How am I meant to do all if this? I come from a country that is described as a leveller and nobody gives a monkey for all that huffing and puffing business, so you quickly become rusty at it if you are not in the game.

I don’t care too much for that huffing and puffing but you are at a disadvantage if you are not playing it, you loose a bit of respect (I know it is all cheap respect), you are ever so slightly dismissed.

… bang! bang! bang! Went the knock on my door, everyone was fast asleep and I was jerked out of sleep. “Who in God’s name was knocking at this ungodly hour?” I thought. I was well minded to ignore the knock, so I pulled my blanket over my head and closed my eyes tightly, nobody was jerking me out of my sleep! However the knock persisted so I half opened one of my eyes to check my watch, and it was not an ungodly hour afterall, it was very much a godly hour – 8am. I made the appointment for my cleaner to come in.

Dragged myself downstairs, quickly opened the door,