When There Was No Mother

We wandered around aimlessly. We were vulnerable, naive and helpless. Prey to any and all predators, consumed, used and abused by those near and close. None cared for us because there was no mother. None trained, guided or directed us because there was no mother. We were passed from pillar to post, strangers indoctrinated and fed us strands and remnants of affection. We called strangers ‘Dad’ and we paid obeisance to the breast we never sucked. We longed to be adopted that we might experience the bond between a child and a mother, none was called to perform the role but a lot desired the title and adorn the robe with no heart or intention of performing the role. We were motherless, unable to adequately care for ourselves and with no one to care for us, we became ill. We were ill in body, soul and spirit. Limp, frail, hungry and tired, dying we laid down with dirty bowl and weak outstretched hand begging for food, wholeness and acceptance. We drifted off into a deep sleep of preservation that appeared to be death. Whilst we slept unbeknownst to us we were being prepared to meet our carer, our mother. Our mother was being prepared to meet us as well.

A catastrophe woke us up suddenly, great terror grabbed our soul, as we opened our eyes to behold our sickly state, we remembered we had no carer or mother and stumbled to the pillar beside us clenching it for dear life to stabilise us, desiring the comfort and forgetfulness of the stupor state we begged to go back to sleep. We were however told that the sleep was over. We lifted our head marginally to see that which we would see, with blurry vision we saw the figure walking intently and majestically towards us. She had a smile and her gaze was solely on us , we mustered all the strength we could find in our frail body and staggered slowly towards her, as we got closer, she looked uncannily familiar. She opened her hands wide and we fell into it, head buried in her chest between her two breasts, we lifted our head to look at her face and as we stared into her eyes we saw it! The face is our face, the eyes are our eyes. Then it hit us, our carer is us, we are the one we have been waiting for! When our earthly mothers have done their job, the caring need does not end, it continues and we must priorities self care, otherwise we become unwell.

We are of no use to anyone or ourselves unless we are healthy, spirit, soul and body. Most of us have been guilty, we neglect care of self and we pour and pour into other people until we are totally depleted then we expect someone else to come and take the reins of sorting us out. It doesn’t always work like that, yes loved ones, family and friends will pop round and do what they can do but the primary duty of guarding our soul, caring for our bodies and growing our Spirit lies with us as adults. The mothering role never ends and when we wander around motherless we are to remember we are that mother we seek, we are the carrier of that breast we need to suck, we are the ones we have been waiting for and as we feed and strengthen ourselves, we are equipped to go out there, help others and do exploits.

Be good to self!