My barrel was empty, there was nothing in it, absolutely nothing, I would scape at the bottom and I couldn’t get a drop, not a crumb, not a pip and the pain of emptiness grabbed me, I felt like emptiness and nothingness will swallow me whole into a non ending bottomless pit, I feared being span vigorously round and round in the vacuum of emptiness until I dissipate. The fear of non existence was real, the fear of extermination, I couldn’t resign and accept the seeminly inevitable. In a frantic panic I grabbed my emotional beggars cup and went a begging for scraps of emotional crumbs from any and every where, to put a layer on my empty barrel to muff out the deafening hollow sound every time I open my eyes. And yes I got my crumbs like any persistent begger would, but what a price I had to pay for that which never truly satisfied, fulfulled or quenched my yearnings and longings! In no time the crumbs finished and the hollow sound of the empty barrel will not give me peace so I was back on the streets like an addict at an unforgiving hour, clanging at the barrel in another desperate bid for attention, validation, emotional comfort, acceptance and belonging.
Today I know better, I understand better, the manufacturing headquarters of all I require is right here with me, in me, at my fingertips. Nobody should say who will go up into heaven or will go down into hell, to bring Christ, for the word that is required is right here, right here on my lips! Right here is where it all happens, not out there, not with anyone! Yes, people can pour in and people will pour in, but not on emptiness! because sooner or later the hollow sound drives them all mad and they flee. We all love the cushioning sound of pouring into an already partially full barrel and that is how we ought to be present. It is hard I know and sometimes we need someone to give us a headstart, to lend that hand, sometimes we don’t know where or how to start, sometimes where in us or where around us to mine, we don’t even know we have a mine. But we do, we all do, right beside the empty barrel is located the mine and step by step, little by little, here a little and there a little we can all start to transform and live that abundant life. By and large, the job is ours, it is our calling to mine the treasures or our life and then adorn ourselves, that is how our creator designed it, our emotional beauty and resilience then becomes visible for the whole world to see.
Beautiful we are, beautiful we have been designed, I pray for the grace to be and live the extraordinary life we have all been created for.
Beautiful Ivory 