… we are to be loving, giving, selfless, seeking the good of and for others. To do this we need to be alive, first and foremost we need to survive, to be of relevance or any good to any body. We need to even more than survive to be of significant good, we need to be healthy and whole, we need to be fruitful – full of fruit to bear and give out. To be fruitful, we need to be fertile, nourished and nurtured. To feed we need to have first been fed. If there is nothing in our hands, we have nothing to give. If we have not been rained upon we can not water anyone.
How many times have we tried to give when we are as empty as yesterday’s pizza box? It’s all gone, all the pizza have been eaten and we are still inviting people over for lunch. No, my friends, it is time to replenish, not time to give, there is nothing worthwhile to give but miserly. Self care is called for, self nourishment, self soothing ( if that is what is required). It makes no difference the urgency or intensity of the need, we have nothing to give. How many people have died before their time, because they neglect to care for themselves and choose instead to miserably be there for one or two? Well meaning but end up doing a poor job and killing themselves in the process. Would it not make more sense to take time to care for self and then put oneself in a position to help a lot more, hundreds and thousands more?
Some might argue that ‘one might die’, if we don’t reach out now, but with our ‘feeble’ hand, the one will still die and so would we. A very difficult truth to grasp, is that we might have to watch the one die, strengthen ourselves and be in a position to help thousands to live. Whichever way we choose to play this, some will be lost and we have to decide whether it will be the few or the many, a difficult choice indeed! Even the maker, in His wisdom allows some to be lost.
Our paramount responsibility is survival, survive to be of use. To do this, we atimes have to be selfish, brutally selfish, cold heartedly selfish, detached and dispassionate , howbeit just for while, for a moment to regroup, to rejuvenate, to be replenished. My local filling station is always close when it is time to refill, once tankers arrive, the barriers are up, it makes no difference whatsoever how many motorists are queued up for fuel, how desperate their needs, be it a small car, big truck or even an ambulance they all have to wait whilst refilling is going on. And it takes as long as it takes till the pumps are ready.
We are only as strong as we are strong, there is no point in staying in the ring, flexing non existent biceps, playing super hero and allowing people to cheer us on to our dome and destruction. Inviting or encouraging people to draw from us when we are overdrawn and on the blink of bankruptcy is irrational. There is a time to encourage and a time to discourage. There is a time to say ‘No!’ Learn to say it with grace but don’t blink an eyelid. We know our limits, others don’t, the needy will always ask, but like the master, we must know when we can do nothing, our time is yet to come.
Other people’s need must not break us, that makes no sense, we must stubbornly resist that temptation to cave in under the load of another, our relevance is in our ability to stand straight and tall, of what use is a stooped cane? The walking stick must be straight, sturdy, able and robust to take the weight of its user. Otherwise both cane and user will end up in the ditch.
Aggressively commit to your survival! Remove that ugly scene from your screen, protect the mind. Replace the wallscreen, play the happy music, attend the fun party, brick by brick, build yourself up, pour, step back, refill, pour, step back, refill, happily live this life.
Until we are aready, we are not ready and until we are ready we commit to selfishly survival. It is the survival of the fittest, let’s make ourselves fit.
Life is for living!
Beautiful Ivory 