… I am the CEO of my corporation. I am running the show, on top of my game. I know what I am doing and I tell people what to do. I cruise in and out. I am handling all things well and I am as smooth as velvety cream. I am crisp, I am sharp and when my brain is on fire it is cutting edge. When I enter the room, everyone is on their feet and the place of honour is reserve for me. At home, I am not doing badly as well, the children are on top of their studies, the home is in good order, all the staff are faithful and hard working. I have even mastered my hybrid cake I bake over the festive season, it comes out flawless, everyone knows what to expect. You can’t taste a better pot of stew than mine and that is a fact. My driving is great, you enter my car and you might as well go to sleep. It is a cruise and I do it effortlessly, autopilot is more like it. My sudoku and crossword skills are not bad either, at least I always manage to finish! I have managed to get my wardrobe into shape, you ought to check out the way I put myself together. Fitness and exercise is going well, just completed the half marathon, training for the marathon.
I am the GO (general overseer) of my ministry, the spiritual head, the one that God speaks to and I relay it to the people. I am revered, respected and honoured. Wherever I go I am served the best meal. I met with dignitaries and people of calibre. I am recognised and celebrated wherever I go. I am truly living the life. But am I really?
Well, I have just entered a room and nobody seems to knows who I am and if they do, none of them give a monkey. I am learning this new skill and to be honest even I will admit I am not great at it, terrible might be a more accurate description. This is a new experience for me, unpleasant one I must admit, I am at a place where I am not very good at what I am doing, possibly the worse and at this stage I am confuse, with no clue how to improve and why everyone else finds it so easy. My ego is suffering, I am humbled and I want to run out. Somehow I managed to see the first session through. It is reflection time at home and I have been questioning myself why I have to subject myself to such humiliation, given I am good at so many things, why a person of my standing should have to descend to this low. I am seriously considering withdrawing from it all, in the scheme of things this is unnecessary pressure, totally uncalled for, unbecoming, I don’t need to prove anything to anyone, ‘I am learned’ I told myself. The feeling of not being good was unpalatable, I am used to being good at what I do. I kept wondering ‘what the heck was I doing in that room?’ I must quit, I really must!
And it came to me, ‘that’ room is exactly where I need to be. That room is the place of growth, of development, of improvement, of life, of increase. The room where character is built and tested, the room where my humanity is tried. Every other room and area of my life where I have reached the pinnacle, becomes a place of decline. We are not to turn our back on our successes, but we must continue to actively seek opportunity for growth. Nature does not condone stagnation, we are either increasing or decreasing, improving or declining, proceeding or receeding, we are rarely ever static, neither going forward nor backward. If we are not learning something new, we are most likely loosing what we have already learnt. A wise person said, if you enter a room and you are the most knowledgeable one in there, then you are in the wrong room.
To grow we all need a couple of ‘what am I doing here? Experiences. The ‘should I really be here?’ Or ‘I think I am better than these!’ As well as ‘I am in the wrong room, where are my fans, my sycophans?’ ‘I better pack this in, at least I have succeeded in a lot of areas in my life”. ‘I am confused and humbled, I am no longer used to not being the best”. These experiences are truly good for the soul. It is the gateway to a fulfilling life. If you have not had course to ask yourself any of these questions lately. It might be time to review and add some of those ‘humbling’ experiences to spice up your life.
What are we doing here? To grow, learn, increase, improve, be a blessing, all summed up in tackling new challenges to live.
So Live!
Beautiful Ivory 