… in the journey of life, I am approaching a treacherous bend, sitting in a massive truck, alone, all by myself, feeling incredibly small and inadequate, wondering how on earth I ended up here and how anyone would think that I can pull this off. The whole thing is way above me, it just feels mammoth and I feel tiny, yet I am meant to do it. If I had my way, I would rather be somewhere else, somewhere nice and quiet, sipping my Mooli and Beet smoothie while nibbling at my Tigernut and Cocoa energy ball as I reflect on life and futher my amateur writing ambition.
I want to run, I honestly want to, but there is no where to run to. I want to stay put, but that is not an option either, traffic is queuing up behind me, I have to move on. To add insult to injury, my visibility is compromised, everything seems cloudy and confusing, I can hardly see clearly. Someone must be having a big joke somewhere, still I can’t get my head round how I am the one in this position.
My head is telling me, I should be doing better than this. At least I know that ‘greater is He that is in me’. Honest truth is I don’t feel it. I have posted numerous motivational and inspirational quotes, I have listened to all Les Brown’s talk, I am a Steve Maraboli fan, I am a student of the scriptures, I have preached the message, I have carried the placard and worn the T shirt, so what else? I just need to steer the mammoth truck down the steep bend, put everything I have learnt to use, but I feel small and inadequate!
So what do I do? Jump out of the truck and run for my dear life, as the people behind me hoot their horn to an inch of life? Or just sit in the truck, and stare into space and pretend to be clueless (actually I am not sure, that will be a pretence!) deaf and dumb. I do feel dumb actually and dumber by the second. I wish I had company, an encourager, or actually someone else to do the dirty job for me, I can’t even call anyone, I can’t even think of anyone to call. I don’t even have a phone. It is just me, the truck, the bend and the queue of impatient drivers behind me!
Well, there is only one thing left to do as I reasoned that feelings are not worth the mind they are written on. My dread and feelings of inadequacy are irrelevant, what needs to be done needs to be done, taking the deepest of breath and screaming my head off, eyes as wide as saucers, I steered the mammoth truck round the treacherous bend!
I did it! Truly, the Greater one is in me!
Beautiful Ivory 