The Impossible Task

… I was told my task and I accepted it. Nobody told me it was impossible and I had no way of knowing. They said it was my role and I embraced it wholeheartedly. I was determined to give it my very best, to excel at it. I tackled it with gusto, I read up on it, I observed the very best at the craft and I plunged in, but how was I to know it was impossible?

From day one, I did not meet the expectations, so I put in more, I still was not meeting the bar, so I put in some more, no I was not there, so I put in even more, until I put in every last bit of what I had, but it still was not good enough. My blood, my sweat, my prayers, my fasting, my person, all went in. I lost my self, my self esteem was gone, my confidence was shattered, I look lost because I was truly lost, I wished for it to end, I dreaded the task, I was tired, no not tired, exhausted and drained. I had applied every knowledge, every wisdom, every initiative, all my resourcefulness had gone in. I felt I was no good, absolutely terrible and I knew not why. I was terrified, I was depressed, I was anxious, I was angry, I felt imprisoned, sentenced for life! I saw no way out, I was hemmed in on every possible side. The prison fortress was fortified, it was very strong.

And then one day, they allowed my out for fresh air, I felt the breeze on my skin and tasted the air on my tongue and my soul tasted freedom, it was sweet, sweeter than any prison food. And that was the day I knew it was an impossible job I signed on to. If I lived to a thousand or died a thousand times I could not fulfil the requirements. I set my self free to stop trying and my soul was restored, my gaze lifted, my face shone, my life came back, my song could be heard, my person revived, my destiny continued, my dreams reappeared, my stride was strengthed, my conversation was engaging, my presence came alive.

I looked back and I wondered, why did I sign on to the impossible task? I did know and noboy told me, I was told it was my role. No, it is not my role, it is nobody’s role. It is an impossible task!

Sometimes we find ourselves in life sucking situations, relationships, jobs and we are told that is just the way it is meant to be. I beg to differ, any thing that makes us long to not be, in my opinion must be reviewed critically. Any relationship that sucks the very essence out of us is questionable. Life, after all is for living and if the desire to live is reduced or removed because of a relationship or situation, we must make adjustment.

Regrettably some very close relationships are impossible, could be husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, parent/child, siblings, friends, religious leader/follower, employer/employee, client/contractor, student/teacher or school etc the list sure goes on.

Life is for living, not wishing for the end.

If it is impossible, get out!

Resign!