… and a really good watch it was, it had a good face, easy to read, I readily knew the time any day, any night. It had a compass, so I knew my positioning as well. It also told me the date and year. So I always knew what time it was, where I was and what date. I was steady and stable, well anchored. My placing was reasonably sure.
Then they did something interesting, it seemed honest then and well meaning, but lately I have begin to question the action. It might be crafty, I think. They destabilised me, unsteadied me, unanchored me, they told my watch was faulty! I looked at my watch, it looked perfectly okay, I was puzzled. In my innocence I looked up to them and I told them I could not see anything wrong with my watch, the dial was still moving, the compass was still pointing, the date was still reading, it was very much alive from all I can see, nothing faulty to me. That was when they dropped the bomb! They said they have another watch, a superior one, and my timing, my readings, my positioning, my dating does not tally with theirs. My watch was still ticking away as the dialogue ensue, they did not take my watch, but they had rendered it impotent to me. So how do I stabilise myself, steady myself and anchor myself now? “Not to worry” they told me, I should just ask and they will tell me the time, the date and my positioning. And that is how I became an ‘asker’, I no longer know anything, I had to ask, I could no longer check myself, I didn’t know when to sleep or when to wake, when to eat or when to withhold, I didn’t know what date it was or where I was, so I kept asking and doing what I was told.
In my mind, I had some recollection of the days when I trusted my watch, my days felt right, my anchor was steady, I was very stable. There is something not right about the timing they are giving me. I am not hungry when they tell me it is feeding time. I am sleepy when they tell me it is waking time. I do not want to wake up when their alarm goes off. I feel the southern breeze on the back of my neck but they tell me I am east, it feels like Christmas but they tell me it is Easter. The day has the earnestness of the beginning of the week, but they tell me it is weekend, a resting day. Something is not right, my soul is agitated!
They never took away watch, but it is at the back of the drawer gathering dust, I wonder if it is still ticking. I got it out, cleaned off the dust, it is still ticking! Checked the time, it is different from the time I was told, I am not where I am told I am, neither is the date or day what it is meant to be.
I am holding the watch, should I put it back at the back of the drawer or should I put it on my wrist? Their time is not my time, their positioning is not my positioning, their days and dates are not my days and dates. Is their watch wrong or is my watch truly wrong? Or do we just have different timing, different positioning, different days and dates? Is north always north for everyone, irrespective of where they are?
I put my watch back on my wrist!
Beautiful Ivory 