… babies cry! That is what they do and we accept it, it is normal, they have no other means of communicating their discomfort or needs. If they are hungry, they yell, hot or cold, they yell, needing love and attention, it is crying, wanting to sleep, the same, unwell , they cry. They can’t talk yet, so we accept this means of communicating even though it can be stressful for the parent usually the Mums. The most disheartening sound to a Mum’s ear is the cry of her child. It tells her something is not as it should be and begs of her to jump into action.
Babies cry because they can’t talk, but what happens when children that can talk, still express themselves by crying? How many times have parents said to their child “just tell me what happened or what is troubling you?” Yet the talking child can’t talk, even when he tries, he mumbles something incoherent and when he does manage to get his words out , the situation described does not seem to warrant all the drama. Well, I guess words are not always the best means of communication. Some pain, discomfort, distress are outside the realm of cool, calm, composed, logical, rational, articulate expression. Some things can not be spoken, they can only be cried. Spoken, written or even sign language is yet to be developed to the point where it can always convey the full range of complicated emotions going on in a human being.
“Talk to me” the grown up says to one another and we open our mouth, we try, we actually do try! Sometimes some words come, other times, we can’t get a word out. Even the words spoken don’t always make sense to the speaker not to mention the hearer. Other times it makes some sense, but not necessarily conveys the intended message, so we cry. But grown ups are not meant to cry nilly willy. So we don’t cry the wailing cry or the sobbing cry, we do the cry that does not look like a cry, but yet it is cry for help. We behave in ways that don’t make sense, we sulk, we throw tantrum, we get angry, we withdraw, we make weird decisions, we become harsh and mean etc and sometimes all of these is just a cry for help, a cry for what we can’t resolve by ourself. We cry for we feel helpless, we have needs that we don’t know how to cater to, that makes our life unbeareable.
When we read the riot act, sometimes we are just crying, when we hammer, dig our heels in, draw the red line, fade or fizzle out, it is just a cry.
Some cries are pure selfish, self centred, indulgent cry. Some cries are cries of the lazy and insolent, some cries are cries of the mean and wicked. But some cries are genuine heartfelt cry for help to meet a need.
May we have ears that hear another’s cry, even when it does not sound like a cry, may we have heart that feels the pain in the cry, may we have wisdom to discern the need of the cry, may we have compassion, empathy and the means to relieve the needs in the cry of the agitated.
Every man cries, everyman has needs, listen!
Beautiful Ivory 