… honestly he is! This is a dilemma, what am I suppose to do? Anyway I have been considering becoming a vegetarian or even vegan for sometime now. Done quite a bit of research and do appreciate the health benefits, especially of the vegan lifestyle, so maybe now is the time. But back to the butcher, he is ugly and has a funny face, his nose is a bit crocked and he has this annoying habit of saying ‘yeah’ at the end of every sentence. Though, I have been wondering whether becoming vegan because of an ugly butcher is really the right way to go about making such an important lifestyle change decision. Maybe I should give it some thought, or I could just change butcher! But my current butcher is the best around here, he has the best cuts at very reasonable price, moreover he is quite a decent man and never quibbles about anything. There really is no point in going to another butcher, the other guy down the road is so expensive and his meat is not even that fresh, and boy, has he got a chip on his shoulders! I just wish my current butcher was not that ugly. There must be something that can be done for ugly people, I guess. People do plastic surgery, don’t they? Moreover, he should know that he attends to the public and do something about the crocked nose. He is handling food that people will cook and eat. He must know people will remember his face every time they eat. How does he think his customer will feel? And what is it with saying ‘yeah’ at the end of every sentence. He must know for sure that that is extremely irritating. I guess some people just don’t care.
I have been telling myself though, I can just ignore his face, look away or something, and maybe not talk much, limit conversation to what I want and hopefully I wouldn’t have to be subjected to the annoying ‘yeah’, ‘yeah’, yeah!!!. That way I can still get my meat and consider the vegetarian/vegan lifestyle at a more appropriate time. And so life progressed.
Physicality is such a big issue in making decision for a lot of people. I almost gave up on my butcher because of my narrow perspective of considering people. How many of us have been guilty of discounting great people because they have not met our exerting standard of physicality? How many times have people missed out on potentially very beautiful friendships or relationships purely because a person is considered not attractive enough to them. Maybe my decision about meat is not that crucial, but how many times have significant life decision been made on the basis of shallow physical appearance that is only skin deep! Giving no consideration whatsoever to the human being under the skin. People have lost potentially great life partners because he or she is not handsome or beautiful enough. I have heard of parents not being able to bound with a new born child because the child is not attractive enough. Over and over I have heard people say ‘I can’t marry an ugly person, I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night screaming when I look at my wife or husband. What then happens, (I pray not, but it happens), when sickness, accident or even just the aging process, means that our once drop dead gorgeous, stunning partner is now an ugly ducking? Do we just throw them out? What happens when the child that pops out of us is a bit lacking in the looks department? Do we then withhold our love and affection or send him/her back? It will be untrue, to think every child born is physically attractice. What if the best candidate for the role in our company is not prince charming but ordinary Joe Bloggs or ugly Betty?
Why deny a good man or a good woman their rightful place in life or in our heart, purely because their physical form is somewhat challenging for us to behold? I believe we can do better than that, where necessary, we must allow time and space to do the job, allowing us to adjust to the physicality and for the form to grow on us. The fact remains, not every form will be pleasing or easy on our eyes initially. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder and sometimes it is our eye that needs to do the adjustment. Not all that glitter is gold and not all that is ugly is dross. From time to time we have encountered some of the ugliest individual gifted with a beautiful physical form and in the same vein some of the most beautiful individual inhabit a not so attractive physical body. The outward man does perish, but it is the inward man that is continually being renewed. Let us intimate ourselves with the inward man.
Research has shown that good looking and attractive people tend to do better in life, they are more successful and get better opportunities generally, no wonder it gets to some people’s head, making them arrogant, unappreciative, egoistic with a greater than life size sense of entitlement. I am not advocating automatic positive discrimination, where we disqualify a person because they are attractive and only consider unattractive people, but I am advocating equal opportunities as far as looks are concerned, all people should be given a fair chance and it is for us to work on ourselves and consider wisely our selection criterias. Maybe out of interest, we should carry out an inventory of our friends and see if we have been guilty of the crime of only befriendly those with the desirable physical attributes.
Physically unattractive people can be level headed and grounded, given that mostly they have been overlooked due to something that is of no fault of theirs, they are usually more appreciative of attention received and rarely take it for granted and therein might lie hidden gems for us all. This obviously is a generalised view and in no way gospel, the opposite could as well be the case in some instance, but very much worth considering.
Hollywood, the entertainment industry, fashion industry, advertising, popular culture etc have generally all been unfair to us in this regard. Bombarding our minds with what is considered the ideal and acceptable physical form. In their own subtle way, a woe is proclaimed on the soul that does not meet their usually unattainable standard in the looks department. And it is no small wonder that a lot of people are depressed, stressed out with an incredible fragile self-esteem and sense of self. Forever chasing after the so elusive fountain of youth and never fading beauty, a mostly unattainable myth. Cosmetic industry, plastic surgery practitioners, fitness industry are the beneficiaries of this our obsession to attain to the height of physical beauty.
We are physical being and there is no doubt that our initial reaction to a person we consider physically beautiful is attraction. However I believe we can all take a step back look closely and consider wisely, phyiscal beauty is only skin deep and it will fade, it is fleeting! The beauty of the inner man is enduring, non fading and sustainable and this is what we are to seek after, in people we meet and the standard we are to live to.
Stay beautiful!
Beautiful Ivory 