… my journey was smooth, steady and tidy. Uneventful but progressing, very much on course, and then a distraction appeared, except it wasn’t clothed as one, it appeared as an opportunity, an addition and progress. So I started to pursue, expending energy, effort and money. With every attempt there was a road block. I fought and fought, and fought even some more until I totally ran out of steam. Not one to give up easily, I weighted the benefits against the cost and decided to throw in the towel or situation meant the towel was snatched from me. The battle however continued in my mind until I surrendered and truly gave up in my mind as well. That was when the miracle happened! The scales came off my eyes, I saw very clearly, it was never an opportunity, it was a distraction, not a blessing either but a curse. Not having it was my saving grace, my journey would have been totally derailed, hijacked by the curse. I sure am blessed as I proceeded on my journey.
His company I really wanted, his friendship I truly coveted, his counsel I seek, his love I wanted, but none of it was to be. Again I tried so hard, I gave it all I have, I threw at it, all I could, but no, it was not happening. I pondered it long and hard and then I relaxed my grip, I eased on the pursue. I nursed and licked my wounds and massage my bruised ego. Just then the light shone, his company would have stalled the journey, most likely regressed it. Our once similar journeys are now very different. Our paths are no longer common, our callings are now different. The longing for communion is borne out of nostalgia, and we all know, nostalgia is a dirty liar, a seductive one, smoothing out the rough edges and presenting a rosy picture of the good old days. And so we parted company as we proceeded on our separate journeys. It was a blessing it did not happen as I wished, our destinations were different.
Not all withholdings are to be lamented, some are truly a blessing! The purity of our space and journey are to be guarded.
Beautiful Ivory 