“… unstable, creates wars, has weapons to wipe out the world twice over, and makes computer viruses …” verdict on the human race by Author and physicist Louis Del Monte. When we hear or read this, we are inclined to dismiss such statement, if not out right dismissal, there is a disinterest and detachment, the statement has no bearing on our immediate life or circle of people. It seems Del Monte is referring to some people far away, not within our circle of influence. Our friends, family, neighbours, colleagues, church members etc are not like that, we reason, and that is if we reason at all. Until! yes until, that day when someone close, within our circle of influence starts to exhibit ‘unstable’ behaviour. At this stage, it might not be creating global war, or making weapons to wipe out the whole world etc, but within themself and amongst people close enough, a war is brewing. And we wonder, what the heck is going on? This is my friend, this is my family, my blood! I have known him/ her since I was born! We have been friends for 27 years!
People can be unstable, incredibly unstable and it is very confusing for the close observer. “Why would he behave like that?” “Why would she say that?” ” Why would they think that make sense?” These are questions that flood our mind when we are confronted with the instability in human beings. A close friend for years start to behave in manners that hit at the root of the relationship, we try all we know to restore peace and harmony, but we might as well have been dealing with a stranger, our friend has become unstable, we can no longer reach, we are pained and troubled, we mourn the loss of that, that is no more.
Some of us are better at this than others. Be it who you may, all the loss of the relationship gets, is a brief mourning period, a quick burial and they move on, quick and speedy. “Relationships are fast moving”, they claim. Others linger, ponder, contemplate, get nostalgic, invest a lot of effort and energy in the restoring and resurrection of that which is no more. After all, it is family, it is friend, it is …. whoever.
The question is, ” what is the best way to handle people when they become unstable?” Is it ‘the move on quickly approach’ or the ‘lingering, trying to restore’ approach? If we dismiss every unstable person from our life, would we have anyone left close to us, given that human beings are prone to instability?
Beautiful Ivory 